Currently Working on: Preparing for my Portfolio, itching to do lots of fanart, and school stuff

~*~Art Trades~*~: closed due to lack of time right now
~*~Collabs~*~: Always welcome
~*~Requests~*~: Closed for now
~*~Kiribian~*~: none as of yet

~*~*~News/Update~*~*~

Well...it's Februrary now...I have two months left to finish a portfolio I haven't started yet.

Bah...on Friday I found out that the library computers banned deviantart!!! The fuck?? And the reason? It says "GAMES" DX WTF???
So much for getting some replying done and cleaning up on my breaks at school....oh well *huffs*

Anyways...It's been a long weekend. I was sick the past while, my right shoulder and right arm were throbbing as if I smacked them between doors or something. They were just sore since thrusday, and I had to work with it too. Being a Cashier with a sore arm, having to bag heavy groveris = not fun =_=;;*grumbles* I missed my first day of school on friday (I had a perfect record of attendance ;_; ) cuz I was feeling sick and sore in the morning...but managed to drag myself out of bed to get there by 1, stayed until 3:30 and then off to work again x_x;;

Yeah...this weekend didn't go so great *smiles sadly* A...A very tough decision had to be made this weekend. One...that wiped the plate that is my future, clean. I think I'm feeling somewhat at a loss...that plans, the things I was driving to..the dreams of....well...of something very hapy that I now can only hold onto a fool's hope, erased. That future I wanted...well..there's about slim to none chance that it'll ever happen.

I'm, not gonna go farther then that though... the ones that have been there for me, that helped comfort me...are the ones who know. It'll remain that way...please don't ask what happened, it's personal, and it's decided. Nothing can change it, not unless there's a big miracle that swept throughout the entire world.
But...well, it's not as bad as it could have been *smiles softly* I am the Knight of Fools afterall....I feed on those fool's hopes. It's the way I am.

But yeah...please forgive me for the...what should I call it... melancholy? Yeah....Just give me time. I will smile again like I'm smiling softly now. Things will turn out okay. There's still that small glimmer of hope, there's still that light among the dark. Things could have ended a lot worse.

I need to leave a message for a few people, so give me a moment:

Sam- I'm sorry I didn;t leave this message on earlier. Lotsa thigns happened....some explained in the letter I will be sending to you soon. I'm sorry...so...sorry....I apologize a lot in the letter as well. Just...I'm sorry for so much, especially the distance that swallowed me. I miss you, I need you too...I need to be there for you more....please forgive me....
I'm crying now because I don't know how to...to tell you that I'm here, I've been thinkign of you, that you....I don't know..I didn't mean to vanish...but...well...I'll explain it to you later....I jsut hope....you read this...I jsut read yoru jorunal, I'm glad you found a place..but...I'm crying not only because of the past weekend, but...because I've let you down.
You never bother me. NEVER. I need a kick in the butt...I know you can't work on QFS alone...I...I'm jsut...I'm lost right now. That time in your life where you don't know where you're going, that the step ahead of you isn't part of your road anymore, it leads to emptiness that you don't know what will appear in front of you, good or bad.
I can't say it enough...how sorry I am.....it's tearing at me like so many things...and you know that when I say this, that I mean it..or I wouldn't say it...
Gomen Nesai...

Andri - I got your christmas card, and I've written a letter to mail to you. I hope your address is the same...
There's so much..that has happened...some bad blood between us, and the distance doesn't help..I' sorry...for...many things...so much....I hope we haven't lost our friendship, I'm grateful for all the words now and then you've sent me the past year. I'm sorry for not being..well..a better friend and replying back. I'll send this letter to you soon as I get a stamp.
I hope we can talk soon..I have no idea what you've been up to, it's been so logn since we talked.

FadingCrimson (you know who you are my friend..)- I don't know if you even go on here anymore, if you'll ever read this...but I need to apologize to you too. I haven't replied to yoru one e-mail...a...a lot has happened since you e-mailed me, so much...when I'm not too tired and can sit down long enough to do it, I'll explain things in the e-mail...I'm sorry for not sending word..for not sending nothing. It's been terrible of me to not keep in touch better, I hope I'm not forgotten...

Big Bro in Cali (Agateboy) - I'm sorry that our stream of e-mails abruptly stopped, when we were on track of keeping in touch again...I dnno if ou ever check on here at all, but I need to e-mail you too....pelase forgive me for just dropping off of the face of teh earth again..I hope you haven't forgotten me either....I'm sorry..

And last but not lease...all my online friends/penpals that I've lost touch with...I'm sorry for promising to come back but haven't, promising to note you or email you but haven't....

To all these people, I just wanted to let you know..I've never forgotten you. NEVER. I think about all of you a lot....everytime I see a stamp, a postcard...a letter..the mail, hoping something is for me. I think of you and wonder if you've moved, changed addresses...what's yoru e-mail now...I've lost touch to so many of you that it makes me sad. I miss you all. More then I can ever say

..That's pretty much all I have to say for tonight....I'll do another journal later this up-coming week. I think we're working on getting the scanner hooked up, and when we do...I'll try to get some drawings up.

Cheers, and I send all of you my thoughts and love.

~Dewbie

Lovely's that I love dearly forever~



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~*ToTH*~



The Novel that and I are working on >w< a seperate account just for that! Check it out!! We don't have much up yet, but sometimes I might post art there that I might not here...oooo ^_~ Reason to check ne?

~*Quest for Survival*~

Quest for Survival

Chapter 1 of 'Quest for Survival written (and being still written) by and I ^0^ We're way past this in teh story wise, give us time though I've been a bum <_<;; But here it is anyway!!

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My DA Family/Friends/Other!

People I admire!

Clubs I'm In!!

My Snail Mail List!!

If your not on here, give me a shout ^O^

Dewbie's Mighty Artlist!

100 Theme Challenge List!!!!

But yus! A few things I want to do artwise:
-Fanart
-Enter provincial art contest

I have ideas for the followings costumes I wanna cosplay as (eventualy):

Ai-kon 2007

---->Louis (Interview with the Vampire)<-------
---->Ryuuk (DeathNote) <-------
-Gwendel (Kyou Kara Maou)
-Pain (FFX-2)
-Vincent Valentine (FF7)
-Diz (Kingdom Hearts)
-Original Costumes

I might change my mind about these characters, might make costumes for others, but we'll see :3

I sign out~

~Dragon Elf Warrior of Dragon Elf's Den